How to get things going.
Have you ever experienced the fuzzy feeling of fear of change? You can hear the change knocking on your door and your heart wants to embrace the change. But something is holding you back.
I’ve experienced this so many times. Whether I considered applying for a more challenging job, moving to another city, getting back to full-time work after parental leave or founding my own startup with my husband as a side hustle, I was always accompanied by fear, it stood in my way and took up a lot of space. Until I recently figured out how to fight my fear in any situation.
Last year I decided to become a certified integral coach. (And I was really afraid of starting this, while working full time and having kids, not knowing back then that Corona will kick in as well). For me, it was a truly transformational process. In one of the modules, we were taught a mindset that changed my approach to handling my fear and allowed me to just get things going. I want to share with you how.
Imagine yourself in a situation where something holds you back. In my case it’s fear. And now imagine you zoom out and ask yourself, what else you can feel. You will figure out quite fast that fear is only one of the voices and feelings that accompanies you.
Now imagine you are sitting at a table and all the voices in your head are sitting next to you.
The ones that are louder are sitting the closest, the other ones are quieter and sit further down the table. Actually, it is the fear that drowns out everything, it’s sitting too close. But it’s your decision to accept or change it.
Imagine now how you need to rearrange the seating arrangements so you can get things started. Let the fear sit on the table, but not as close as before. Let the self-confidence, the curiosity, your trust in your experience move closer to you, so you can hear them louder.
Now listen to yourself. What changed? Can you feel how your view is changing? Do you feel how you get a clearer picture of what you need to do in order to tackle your challenge? Do you feel how you can gain trust in your self-confidence, your skills, your curiosity?
Congratulations — you managed to get control back!
My personal learning is that fear is an important companion. It helped me not to make hasty decisions. As soon as I learned to accept it as one of many feelings it became more of a warning sign.
I learned, that I am not the fear — the fear is only one part of me. It is my decision if I allow the fear to control me or if I control the fear.
So next time when you are in a situation where you feel overwhelmed, anxious, nervous, impatient or as if something is holding you back I recommend taking a step back. Breathe in, breathe out. Analyse your feelings. What else is there? What else can you feel? What are the experiences, skills, strength you can rely on? How much room do the negative thoughts and feelings really need? How much room can you give other thoughts and feelings in order to feel more comfortable?
Take over the lead and trust yourself and then just get started!
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Stephanie Leue is an active member of Auxilia- a group of women, passionate about increasing funding to Female founders. She is a certified Coach and Product Consultant. You can contact her on Linkedin